Getting through life

How do we know if we’re making the right decision or not? This question hit me a few days before my resignation. I had plans set out on uncertainties which accelerated the pressure that was already occupying my mind when I filed it. I just wanted things to stop because (maybe) I was exhausted and bored with life. I look at myself and see no enthusiasm or whatsoever. How do we even deal with quarter life crisis anyway? How do we decide on things without feeling like we are pushing ourselves at the edge of a fucking cliff? How do we even move through life?

I don’t know you guys, things are just starting to weigh down and I knew I needed to let go but I honestly feel scared. It’s just that this world is bigger and people are sadder, and sometimes, I don’t want to be part of it. I don’t want to just wake up trying to drift through the day.

It’s crazy and stupid because I feel like I am about to choke myself. I honestly loved my job and the people I worked with. It’s just that some things don’t stay permanent. I really have no idea whether I made the right choice or not, but I guess, I will never really know. There are certain questions that are not answerable by yes or no but has to be taken responsibly instead. If there is one thing I learned through this process, it is that once you let go, your perspective changes; you may even find a dead tree beautiful even if it hurts.

It’s never too late to start again though. All we have to do is close our eyes and listen to the world humming softly— can you hear that? It’s the song of everything we’ve ever dreamed of, waiting for us to chase after them. Now, let’s open our eyes, get up and start the pursuit. Someday, we’ll be there.

PS. I am not so good at writing quick heartfelt goodbyes. Maybe when the time comes, I’ll write it off (much longer than this, or perhaps not), but I will say it anyway: Thank you SLMC! You have no idea how much you changed my life. You were a huge part of it. The love-hate relationship finally came to an end, didn’t it? It was a struggle keeping up with you, not to mention having to stay with you beyond shifts, but those were the good times too, isn’t it? Ahh. Yes, those good old days (now I am finally able to say that). 😌 I wish you and the people with you more success in the future. -xo.

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Destination: Kota Kinabalu

I ventured on a solo backpacking trip to Sabah, Kota Kinabalu for 6 days after accidentally booking it over the internet a few months ago. I was hesitant to push through it but solo backpacking has always been on my list, so after not planning anything at all, I literally jumped over the bridge when I got there.

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For most people who does not know where Kota Kinabalu is, it is the capital of Malaysia’s Sabah state in the northern part of the island of Borneo. There is something about this place that makes it special though you don’t particularly get to experience it at first sight. It requires a meticulous process to understand and unravel its unparalleled beauty.

Continue reading Destination: Kota Kinabalu

Words

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Have you ever felt like sometimes because you’re naturally sad or angry, you end up vibrating the same energy towards other people? It’s a pull of gravity. Like I try my best to smile and laugh and project a colorful personality in public but at the end of the day, when it’s sombre and piognant, I tend to swell up varying emotions to the point where tears just starts falling, uncontrollably, drowning the world with it. It’s tiring sometimes- the feeling of lost and agonizing intensity of not knowing why it hurts. Continue reading Words

Coron, Palawan 2018

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Having been tagged as one of the most beautiful island in the world, I have always had this dream of exploring Palawan. Its picturesque coastlines hidden in 1,780 extremely beautiful islands are known to capture the hearts of many, one of which is Coron. Continue reading Coron, Palawan 2018

Drink Healthy. Live Healthy. Drink Lem-on Lav.

IMG_5082It’s been weeks since I’ve agreed to post something about my brother’s Lem-on LaV business but I couldn’t write  anything because I wanted to try it out first. If I’m going to tell people to buy it then at least I should be honest and tell them what to expect about it. Continue reading Drink Healthy. Live Healthy. Drink Lem-on Lav.

Mt. Batolusong

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The desire to see the slopes and grassland over a mountain peak started when I first tried hiking. The grit and grandeur of far-flung wilds intimidated my innerself to question the wonders that lies beyond the concrete jungle we’re living in. It hurts to know that it became an enigmatic wall that separates us to the indefinite beauty of our physical world. From then on, I told myself that I’d have to visit more of these places. Continue reading Mt. Batolusong