It was almost summer during our sophomore year. Everyone was busy getting their class cards to their respective proffesors to see if they passed or not. Some were sitting in groups along the hallway, some were lined up waiting for their turn to enter the teachers room, some were just goofing around and making fun of each other, some were worried because the lines in their faces are starting to meet in the middle. I felt weird inside and I don’t know why, it was like something big is about to happen in my life. Somethig big like learning a great deal of lesson.
Everyone has their own favorite teacher to go check first. As for me, I was always excited to get my grade in Philosophy because aside from English, it was my next favorite subject.
Here is a flash back with my philosophy teacher when I was about to get my assessment card that day.
He asked each and everyone of us to answer a generic question: What will you do if I fail you in this subject?
It was an easy question which can lead to a long discussion and arguments if not answered appropriately. As for my part, I did not agree. I said that it would be unfair because I’m pretty sure I passed most of my examinations and I attended all his classes. But my professor, instead of agreeing, asked again, and he kept on asking, beating around the bush, until I finally said that I’d accept whatever the result is, because after all, there is nothing else that I could do about it.
He then gave me my classcard and I walked out from the room with a smile.
I think Prof. Alejandro’s question was one of the most significant lesson I learned in Philosophy. Never mind Moslow, Marx, Plato or Pythagora, yes, they all made a classic expression of their own views on political and social trade, but for a 17 year old, naïve student, like me, all I needed was a piece of advice that would keep me going.
As for today, I witnessed a person turn ugly because she’s angry and hurt. She was talking about the other party non-stop for the whole day. I won’t judge anyone though because 1) I don’t really know what happened and 2) I think each party deserves a benefit of a doubt. So while she expressed herself, I listened. I’m not even sure who got tired first, me or she? It was a whole day debate.
Now while lulling myself to sleep tonight, I keep wondering how a person can hate another person for a reason (or a million reason). Sometimes I just don’t understand it: Why do we even bother hating people? Because you know, when we hate, we become angry, which then leads us to do and say things we don’t even mean to in the first place. We all have a hidden monster inside us, and the trigger to awake it, is hate.
I will not deny to you how much I could hate a person depending on the degree of damage he/she inflicts in me. I can curse. I think of bad things. I judge them. Sometimes, I even wish I could just punch them in the eye. But gee, not only is it barbaric for me to do but it could also be painful in the arms, without a boxing gloves.
So I’m trying to think of possible ways on how to handle rage with a calmer heart:
Tip #1: Whenever you go off to that deep end without any forewarning, the first thing to do is to breath. Relax yourself before you brew out a storm. Try your best to compose your mind. Think straight and remember that one golden rule which I learned in Philosophy: What is done is done, accept it.
Seriously guys, we can’t redo what already happened in the past. We can’t replay that fifteen minutes fight, we can’t take back the words that already stabbed a heart, and we can’t go save a life that is already taken away. As the saying goes; we can’t fix a broken glass using our own bear hands. We just can’t.
What’s left for us to do is to digest what happened and accept it. This process will break us but it will also help us heal. I know accepting something offensive is difficult and it could torture us to the point of no return, but that’s how adulthood works, that’s how maturity works.
Tip #2: Let go of the hate. Move on. Learn how to fix the problem. Say sorry if you must. Mean it. Let the positive energy pull you away from doing bad. Humble yourself. Think of ways on how to patch things up instead of smashing it. A broken glass may not be fixed but creating a whole new one is not that hard.
There are several ways out when you feel like you’re trapped in a closed, hollow concrete wall. And in that kind of state, better not dwell on tears for too long because that too, might drown you. There are times, my dear, when all you need is action, not drama.
Tip #3: When your body starts to numb, do not forget that you still have a set of beautiful eyes which can see beyond the black and white, and all you need is to open them up. Wipe up the tears that may blur your sight and look around. There are people behind you who really cares. Start from there.
It might be diffucult, but I advice you to freely feel the pain, because that too, is a process of healing. Fix yourself and smile when you’re done crying. Pray for purpose and direction. Ask for the ability to accept things as they are because once you get to do that, solutions will pop up like light bulbs, telling you that it’s not yet the end of the world.
Tip #4: Here is a fun fact when you are already stressed out. Dance. I’m not a dancer myself but swaying your hips and moving your muscles can actually help increase the serotonin in your body.
PS. Serotonin is a happy hormone.